Dad: Intro...

Dad: Intro...: "Hello...My name is Nancy and my dad was an alcoholic. For as long as I can remember my dad always loved drinking. I thought all adults dran..."

Dad: 1/19/11

Dad: 1/19/11: "My dad recently passed away earlier this month. I have never blogged or read any blogs but I like to write in my journal and decided that ty..."

Intro...

Hello...My name is Nancy and my dad was an alcoholic.
For as long as I can remember my dad always loved drinking. I thought all adults drank and it was a normal everyday thing. My dad never considered himself an alcoholic because he maintained his job, and paid all his bills on time. An alcoholic was someone who lost their family, friends and job because of alcohol. So clearly he wasn't an alcoholic. He just loved to drink his Budweiser. I idolized my father, like any other young girl. I thought he was the strongest, smartest, and nicest dad ever. During my pre-teen years, around 12 or so, I realized my dad had a drinking problem. I soon realized that my dad was indeed an alcoholic and not only that, but he also was physically abusive to my mom. So,  my dad was no longer the great man I had known. When I realized that my dad was not perfect I was devastated. As I grew up, I came to accept him and love him as he was. He was an alcoholic but he was still my dad. He was still the same strong man who at one point in time let his three kids hang  by his biceps and swung us around. He was still the same smart man who helped us with our homework, even if he was tired from having worked a 12-16 hr shift. He was still the nice man who lent people money knowing that they were not going to pay him back. He had an addiction to alcohol and he never got the help he needed to cure him of his addiction.
I love you and miss you deeply

1/20/11

Well today I went to my mom's house to spend the day with her. She is having a difficult time coping with my fathers death. My grandmother, her mother, passed away in May 2001 and her husband of 30+ years passed away 10 years laters. She feels all alone even though she has all her children and grandchildren with her. I don't know what else I can do for her...we are all feeling the lose of our dad. She is young as well (47 yrs.) and she confessed to us that she cannot imagine herself with anyone else and fears being alone for the rest of her life. She is not the kind of person that would consider counseling or anything of that sort.

1/19/11

My dad recently passed away earlier this month. I have never blogged or read any blogs but I like to write in my journal and decided that typing is much easier for me. So, I don't know if anyone besides me will read this but it's okay...I am just venting and putting my thougths out there. Today I took out my son to the museum. I was on the bus and I saw a family, mother, father, son and daughter, on the bus. The mom and the son sat together and the father/daughter stood together. The father was making the daughter laugh and at that point I got teary eyed. I miss my dad so much. I realize now that I took my dad for granted. I didn't realize how many gray hairs he had grown, or that he had gotten a few more wrinkles by this eyes, or that his beard was graying. I only came to realize all these bits of information while he was lying in the hospital bed. I told him I loved him every chance I got while he was good and healthy. I hugged him every chance I could but it was always rushed...I wish now I could have held on to him longer,lingering in his arms for a few more minutes. I wish now I could have noticed his gray hairs and his wrinkles sooner. I remember when my dad made me laugh and giggle. I wanted to tell that little girl in the bus to savor those moments because they don't last forever.